If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
