Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
