Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
