I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
