Moan for me like Helen Keller
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
