hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
