ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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