Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
