their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
