I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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