mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
