You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
