She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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