i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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