Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
