Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize