there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
