His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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