Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
