You can't motorboat a personality
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize