my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
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