I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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