I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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