Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
