My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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