i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
