i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
