So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
