my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
