I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize