Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
