How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
