Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
