Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
