So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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