Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You were trust falling into bushes
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
