apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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