I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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