im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
