I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
