I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
