Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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