He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
In other news, I just burned my penis
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Randomize
