guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
