What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
