You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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