carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
