she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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