he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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