CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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