i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
