I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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