he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
