Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
