In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
