Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
