Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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