So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
