I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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