Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
